No Time Like the Present
“Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.”
Isn’t that the truth— the time, for whatever it is you’re wanting to start, will never be “just right.” That’s how I’ve felt about creating this space, for years. In the Spring of 2011 I was a contributing writer on a lifestyle and home design blog during my college years. I got to interview shop owners, other designers and bloggers, and I did a lot of research. I loved it! Something about the process of generating an idea an running with it, giving it life, gave me life— tangible energy. Ever since, I’ve been day-dreaming about starting something myself. I imagined I’d write less about home decor and aesthetics though, and more about what makes me who I am and what makes you who you are. I envisioned a space to explore the character of us as people, as women too, and the complexities of what that means.
Now, mind you, when I was writing for that blog, it was before the days of Instagram and still in the very early days of nearly any social media (beyond the OG that is Facebook)… when blogs were less about paid advertisements and services being sold to you and were more of a tried and true a catalog, of ideas. There was something pure about the online community then; it was less tainted by the aggressive self-promotion we see so often today. Now, we can’t scroll for five seconds without be served a sponsored post of some kind. I must admit, it’s not all bad apples, but it definitely changes the dynamic of our consumption. The algorithms set us up and box us in based on observations and predictions about our behavior. Now, we have to dig for golden nuggets of insightful inspiration that remain… at least the ones that we aren’t avidly chasing down already.
They do exist though, those little bits of gold. That’s what I pray this is a site is for you, a goldmine— we’ll call it a virtual catalog, or a collection— of my lessons learned, the stories I’ve heard & lived, ideas I’ve chased, and the people who’ve been a part of it all.
It’s taken me an honest decade to finally dedicate time and energy to this. My twenties tossed me around a bit, both things within and beyond my control. I was constantly trying to find myself, my purpose, often in work and relationships… flitting around from one passion and person to the next. I do believe that my faith in God and my community were the only things that got me through it all. As many of us experience in our twenties, my behavior waxed and waned like the wind from relying on myself for everything versus letting go of control and giving it to my Maker… yet I still knew what I believed in the core of my being. I can see clearly now that a lot of my actions were a direct result from my ongoing battle with my own mind. My mental health took some very aggressive hits in my twenties, and I don’t think I realized at the time that I just was struggling to stand back up, over and over again, each time I had to go to the hospital. I’ll talk about that more in my next few posts, but it’s no wonder I couldn’t start, much less maintain, any projects. I most definitely did not have the energy or the endurance then to begin something I knew would be and become so precious to me.
Here I am though, nearly a decade after first birthing this idea, this dream, finally taking some action. I’ll be honest, I’m a little terrified of telling you my story, even in little windows, because there’s a lot of ugly and a lot of less than happy parts. But I have to trust you, that you’ll be able to see the beauty and the redemption in it all. And you, likewise, have to trust me to certain end, to not leave out those less than perfect parts.
I promise not to leave you in the shallow end. I promise, here you will get to wade into depths with me. I’ll come back to the shallows to rest now and then, but let me warn you now, in this first post, I will not be taking this journey lightly. This isn’t going to be a casual walk in the water, but a daring dive, a dance in the deep waters.
The way I see it, what would you really get from reading this if I wasn’t 100% authentic, if I wasn’t willing to “go there”? Well, you’d get the glossy, glammed up version of me that’s only a half-truth. I think we, as a society, often do ourselves a disservice by only sharing and promoting the poised, hyper-stylized, “pretty” versions of our lives. I don’t think the world needs more of that, and I don’t believe that’s what you’re seeking either. Don’t get me wrong, I think it is so fun, and sometimes borderline necessary, to put on our best and show up ready to take on the world. BUT, there’s a lot of undiscovered beauty in the struggle between who we are and who we want to be. I think my story illustrates that struggle, that wrestling with yourself over and over again we all have experienced in one way or another.
While my story is still unfolding, I want to share the chapters that have built the plot to where I am today. I’ll share my present life too, but I think it’s critical to give you context for who I am and why I’m here first. Before we dig into some of these golden bits, these topics that are sometime hard to hear about, much less discuss, we’re going to do a little walk down memory lane.
Consider these first few posts almost like memoir broken up into sections.
I hope you’ll walk with me for a bit and allow me the opportunity to explore the experiences I’ve had alongside you. Some are pretty, some painful, so bear with me. Regardless of how well you know me already, I think you’ll be entertained at the least, and empathetic at the best. Maybe, just maybe, you'll find some parallels with your own story too. So, keep following along if you want to get a not-so-glittering glimpse into what it took to get here. For now, keep mining for that gold, that precious wisdom we all need more of. It’s out there, y’all.
Don’t be afraid to wade in the depths of life, to have the harder conversation, the heart talks. It might be a little dark out there, but if life’s not a daring adventure, what is it? Make your days count.
All my love & light.
Kindly,
Kelsey