The Big Reframe: Creating A New Neural Pathway Forward for 2023
And the come down from Christmas is upon us.
Most of us are wading in the sweet but uncomfortable in between at this point. The closure of the festivities surrounding the exchanging of gifts, the meals and cookies and time spent with familiar faces. Now is the time our hearts and heads begin to prepare for this new dawning of another year before us, brand new and unlike anything that we’ve seen before…
“And now we welcome a new year, full of things that have never been.”– Rainer Maria Rilke
It’s both beautiful and breathtaking all at once… a whole new container of space that we’ve never seen and will never see again.
New years can come with a hefty dose of expectation as we try to recalibrate and place (sometimes ridiculous) expectations on what we want to accomplish or the kind of people we want to grow into...
It’s not so much who we want to become that I hold a tension with, it’s the fasttrack path we can put ourselves on to try and accelerate our becoming beyond what is sustainable or sticky enough to produce the results we set our intentions upon.
In honor of this tension– the creation of sticky, sustainable choices towards growth versus the expedient express route towards quick, glamorized wins– I decided to use my therapy session yesterday to both digest this recent month and position the lessons to yield new fruit in this new year. In my hour-long conversation with my oh-so-insightful therapist, there were a few themes that emerged. Her first observation that sounded like this:
“You know what’s so remarkable to me… you’ve so quickly transformed what could’ve been seen as a breaking point or a stuck loop into a hinge pin moment to reprocess and take away the lessons you are carrying into the future. That’s such a big shift– like a new neural pathway– and takes some people a psychedelic experience to get to…”
In hearing her say this, time almost stood still. I realized as she was speaking that I’ve never really been able to do that before. I’ve stayed “stuck” or at least still in my rumination and reflection of an episodic event for weeks, months, sometimes full seasons after all of my past hospitalizations. I’ve subconsciously allowed them to carry me into even deeper states of soul-searching where I attempt to decode the roots behind why I am the way that I am to the point of sometimes keeping me in or exacerbating a further destabilized state.
This time was different though. I was conscious of the decision I had in front me. I could stay “down” on the mat and continue to see myself in a state of suffering and sadness, or I could accept what was, glean whatever lessons I could, and move towards evolution, toward serving myself with what I know now.
Without even really knowing it, I opted in for the latter… and it only took three weeks, not three months or three years. This was a major move I wasn’t even aware I’d made until I bore my soul to my therapist and she saw into the cracks and communicated that growth back to me– best Christmas gift I received this year.
There were two other themes still, too. As I explained my plans and intentions for the coming calendar year, she and I both listened to me repeat this overarching rainbow of creating energy and making “play” – the most soul-giving and fun highlights of life – more incorporated and sustainable in the way I choose to live my life, in how I spend my time.
I told her about my starting art classes again later this Winter/ early this Spring. I told her about signing up for a half-marathon in Yellowstone in June. I told her about applying for Yoga Teacher Training to start in March through May. I told her about taking ski lessons and not working on the weekends to leave room for the unexpected. I told her about my monthly book study I’ve planned, and my choosing to write weekly here. I told her:
“I have to lead. I’m tired of following the course that everyone else has. I have to make my own energy and prioritize creating new things.”
She smiled, laughed a little and said:
“That is who you are. Don’t betray yourself. I hear you honoring yourself and the intention is to live with more light-heartedness toward the self you’re becoming, not who you’ve ‘always been’ but the person you know is within you…”
This was the affirmation I needed. I know this about myself. I’m not so much of a follower or subscriber to other people’s ideas (unless I can move that mission or movement forward as myself unapologetically) , I like to create my own way. I like to create. Yes, tangible things – words, paintings, poems, meals, etc. – but I like to create energy and zeal around things that spark my curiosity and cultivate passion in others about what I’m excited about too. That’s that Manifestor energy type in Human Design I’ve been exploring too (yes, I’ll be sharing more about that in the new year because it is truly incredibly enlightening and informative).
So, this new year for me in a few words:
intentional
creative
sustainable
future-focused
I’ve lived so long in retrospect, looking back on what was, who I’ve been and how I’ve fought my way into the present. And, still, I’ve not yet consistently allowed myself space to do more than dream about the future. I’ve not gifted myself an intentional strategy, a clear set of goals with KPIs (“key performance indicators”) to let me know if I’m really making moves towards said goals or not. I’ve lived loosely, mostly present or past-oriented as I’ve tried to doggedly to pinpoint the who, how and why I am the person that I am.
Now is the time for me to intentionally and actively become who I’ve known I’ve been all along…
A woman of deep and wide passions who continuously learns and cultivates them further…
A woman who is creative in her bones and enthusiastically expresses all sides of herself…
A woman who leads others and lights the way toward richer, more well-rounded and balanced living with a sincere sense of purpose…
A woman who is clear about her goals and actively works towards actualizing them in priority order…
A woman who knows and reveres her Creator and pushes others to see and acknowledge the Love + Light that brought them into being, too.
I am so excited for this new year, more than maybe I’ve ever been about any other year. I have a clear mental vision, a hopeful and full heart, a body that wants to move and is able, and a soul that is stirred up and knows its purpose. I’ve learned a lot of lessons (some for what feels like the 90th time), and lived a lot of stories in 2022 and am ready to execute and deliver (to myself) the best year I’ve lived yet. It’s time to put all these lessons in service who I’ve been designed to be, what I’m here to teach and who I’m here to lead and love.
I turn 33 in March, and I am filled with honor and humbled to get another year to live it proudly in service of gifts and calling to lift others towards theirs. I hope you’ll follow along here as this new act unfolds. Same story, same book, but it feels appropriate to see this as the beginning of the next third of life (Lord willing, I can live to 99+).
I promise I’ll be delivering the same vulnerability, the same candor and authenticity, plus some ways to live better with greater intention and vision along the way. I’ll end with another quote I love that sums this up poignantly:
“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control over what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.”
– Steve Maraboli
One more thing… I have a question for you. What would it look like for YOU to live with more intention (maybe more slowness, too) and a healthy dose of courage to make that a new way of being? I’m kicking off the new year with the first book in my monthly book study series. This book is all about setting intentions to create space for real rest, restoring the soul, creativity and connection; the book is called Rhythms of Renewal by Rebekah Lyons.
I’ll be sharing more details soon on how I’ll be processing this for myself, and how you can create an action plan for creating sustainable changes that allow you to live more balanced and energized for whatever swings life has in store. I’m rereading this for the second time and would love to have you join me in creating a new cadence for the year that allows for big play and big rest, too.
As always, much love and big light as we turn another page into the new year.
Kindly,